


dollars for the suicide joke jar

by VillainousTalking (rainbowshoes)



Series: pray for the wicked [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst Lite, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Peter is a Little Shit, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Jokes, Tony Stark Has A Heart, blonde jokes, tony loses a bet he didn't know he'd agreed to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 20:44:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15849015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowshoes/pseuds/VillainousTalking
Summary: Tony complains about getting old, but the best cure for that involves Bucky's and Peter's horrible jokes and losing a bet he didn't agree to in the first place - at least, he's pretty sure he never agreed to that one.





	dollars for the suicide joke jar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my_unlikely_hero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_unlikely_hero/gifts).



“Fuck, I'm getting old.” Tony stands slowly, one hand on his back as he straightens. Bucky gives him what Peter refers to as a side-eye, something he's supposedly very good at. Tony doesn't notice. He was just under a car for almost five hours, it's not unusual that he doesn't feel great after something like that. And besides, Bucky is more than twice Tony's age- technically.

“Best cure for getting older is suicide,” Bucky mutters, turning his head away from Tony and pretending to focus on the tablet in his lap. He watches Tony freeze out of the corner of his eye and waits for Tony to berate him for the crude joke.

“Well, I went to the morgue the other day and asked if they accepted walk-ins, but the guy just looked at me like I was crazy,” Tony pops off, his voice intentionally lazy and careless. Bucky can see the glint in Tony's eye and the smile tugging at the corner of Tony's lips, though.

“What did the news call the guy who wanted to jump off that cliff the other day?” Bucky asks, drawing out the question as if it's real. He doesn't wait for Tony to answer, just snaps his fingers and nods, like he's remembered the answer himself. “Oh yeah. A cliffhanger.”

Tony very nearly rolls his eyes and face-palms all in the same movement, but he keeps himself in check. He walks over to a different part of the workshop, too casually, as he wipes his hands on his grease rag. “What's the difference between you and someone who’s suicidal?” Tony waits for a half a second before finishing with, “Nothing. You're both dead inside.”

Bucky cracks first, but Tony is quick to follow. Both of them laugh, maybe a little too much considering the dark nature of the jokes. Tony is clutching the table he's standing beside to stay on his feet and Bucky is nearly doubled over in his spot on the couch.

“Well, that's a few more dollars in the suicide joke jar.” Bucky gasps on an inhale at the dry tone. He blinks the tears out of his eyes as he looks over the back of the couch. He didn't know Peter was in the lab. Judging from Tony's slightly guilty expression, neither did he. To be fair, the kid is quieter on his feet than Bucky is - and Bucky had his skills literally beaten into him.

“Sorry, Peter,” Tony says, scrubbing the palm of his hand over his face. “We shouldn't have -"

“I have one, too,” Peter interrupts. Tony blinks in surprise. “It's a little long, though. Two blondes were in a bar watching the ten o’clock news. There was a story on about a man who was going to jump off a bridge. The first blonde bets the other ten dollars that the man will jump. The second blonde agrees, claiming he won't. The news reports that the man killed himself a little later. The second blonde gets out her money, but the first blonde tells her to put it away, that she cheated. She'd watched the five o’clock news and knew the man jumped. The second blonde gives her the money anyway and says, ‘Oh, I did, too, but I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to jump again.’”

“Damn, kid, that's cold,” Bucky says with a smirk and a laugh.

“If we’re mixing blonde jokes and suicide jokes, here's one,” Tony says. “How did the blonde die?” He waits for a beat, looking between Tony and Bucky. “She was too stupid to find her will to live.”

“Wow,” Peter says flatly. “Unfunny and dirt poor.”

“Wait, what?” Tony asks, genuinely confused by the statement. “I'm hilarious, first off, and also, billionaire remember?”

“You were,” Peter says with a shrug. “You totally lost that joke game. Bucky gets all your wealth now. Don't you know how the rules go?” Peter grins and darts away - not nearly as fast as he could - when Tony launches across the workshop to chase him down and make him take it back.

Bucky smiles a little at the chaos. Things are a little better than they were. They aren't perfect and he's probably never going to be one hundred percent sane, but things are definitely better. He pulls his legs out of the way when Peter and Tony run by him. Maybe joking about the suicidal thoughts that plague him isn't the healthiest way to cope, but at least he isn't stewing in those thoughts anymore. He can smile when Tony catches Peter and scrubs his knuckles across Peter's head until Peter begs ‘uncle’. He isn't alone in those thoughts, and that's more helpful than just about anything.

**Author's Note:**

> @my_unlikely_hero thanks for the prompt babe! ♥♥♥


End file.
